If Mario Comes in Our Room and The Mario Mash
by CosmicKitten89
Summary: Two song parodies in one!  Iggy and Lemmy are scared of being attacked by Mario, so their sibs sing their take on "If a Monster Comes in our Room" from AaTC Meet Frankenstein.  At the end, Ludwig's Mario-mashing rendition of "The Monster Mash".


Disclaimer: I do not own Mario or the Koopalings, or KISS, or the Monster Mash, or anything from "Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein".

Iggy woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

This could normally be expected to happen once or twice a week, but lately, ever since Iggy had been stomped on and robbed of his magic scepter by Mario, he had been doing it every night.

Bowser was too lazy to get up. "Ludwig, would you take care of Iggy's screaming?"

Ludwig was usually up all night anyway, but he hated to be distracted from his work. "Perhaps I should work on a tranquilizer that stops young Koopas from incessantly screaming!" He had already tried several drugs on Iggy that didn't work.

Iggy was sitting up in his bottom bunk, still screaming, and he had Lemmy screaming too.

"Calm down, big brother Kooky's here," Ludwig said. "Are you having the Mario nightmares again?"

"Y-yes," said Iggy.

"M-m-me, too," said Lemmy. "I-I'm afraid that h-he will sneak back into the c-castle to bully us some more."

Ludwig sighed. "Mario's not going to hurt you. For Koop's sake, he has better things to do than to go around terrorizing youngsters who are not currently up to any outstanding mischief!" But Iggy and Lemmy did not seem to comprehend that statement.

"I-I-I w-want Cheezy here too," said Iggy. "A-and Kootie, and Bigmouth, and even Bully".

Lemmy nervously peeked out from inside his shell. "Me too."

Ludwig went out to fetch Larry, Wendy, Morton and Roy.

"Dude, what's the matter? I was having a lovely dream," said Larry, his eyes swollen and squinty.

"What the #%$ is going on?" screamed Morton. "What do you want us to do? Sleep in here?"

"That would be nice," said Iggy.

Roy said, "Forget it. Unless you'se a willlin' to trade bed for the floor, and I can't fit in your bed anyways."

Wendy put the sleep mask back over her eyes. "Some of us are trying to get beauty sleep!"

"Yeah, Kootie, you betta get back t'bed, y'need lots of it." Roy laughed.

Wendy waved her fist at him, but Ludwig said, "Let's just try to make them feel better. It's understandable that the twins might be having bad dreams considering the traumatic experiences they have gone through with the Mario brothers. Sometimes, I have nightmares about it. That's part of the reason why I almost never sleep."

Iggy said, "How do you keep from sleeping?"

"Caffeine!"

"You mean like in coffee? Can I have some coffee?" asked Iggy.

"Absolutely not! Caffeine's only for big Koopas!" Nobody, least of all Ludwig, wanted the twins bouncing off the walls from hyperactivity.

"But I don't want to sleep! Sleep gives me nightmares!"

"We all have nightmares, Iggy. Sometimes even when we don't sleep. Now, I know the rest of you have nightmares about Mario, am I correct?"

"Um…" The Koopalings seemed reluctant to make confessions.

"Okay, I have," said Wendy. "I… I dreamed that Mario broke into my room, stole my best jewelry, and trashed all of my designer clothing… Oh, wait. Princess Toadstool did that. In real life. But Mario did it again in my dreams!" Wendy started to sob from thinking about it.

Morton said, "Me too! I dreamed that Mario stomped on me, and then stomped on me again, and again, and then he kicked my castle and stomped it down into rubble! Each of us had a castle, and one of the castles he blew up with TNT, and one of them he smashed up with a BIG sledgehammer, like he stole from the Sledge Brothers or something, and one of our castles he wiped away with a windshield wiper!"

Larry said, "Um… Mario once interrupted one of my, um… dates… while I was dreaming. And one time I actually dreamed that I was, um, dating Mario."

"Yeah, well, I ain't scared of no Mario!" puffed Roy.

Ludwig said, "Not according to my Dream Analyzer! You dreamed last night that Mario beat you up and embarrassed you front of everyone!"

Roy blushed. "Why, I could just… Don't tell no one, OK?"

"That's OK. I wouldn't let anyone know that had our butts kicked by a plumber, let alone that we're still having nightmares about it! Why, last time I slept, it was afternoon last week, and I dreamed that Mario smashed my pipe organ to smithereens, blew up my lab and blasted our castle all the way to Cookie Mountain!"

None of these nightmare stories made Iggy or Lemmy feel any better. Iggy shivered from the wind blowing in from outside, and he closed the window.

"_I-If Mario came in your room at night, what would you do? What would you do…_

_A-and he wanted to kill you in a fight tonight, what would you do if it was you?"_

Larry jumped onto the top bunk and began to shout:

"_I'd kick him in a lava pit, tie him to a Bob-omb,_

_Steal a sack of coins from his pocket,_

_Have my Piranha Pete bite off his feet,_

_Then blast him into Star World on a rocket._

_I'd send him to his doom…_

_If Mario came in my room!"_

Larry put on a pair of shades and started talking to a Mario action figure.

"_Yo, mustache face!_

_You wanna piece of me?_

_Are you ready to rumble?_

_Bring it on, brother!"_

Iggy peeked his face out from under the covers.

"_What if Mario sat on the top bunk of your bed?_

_What would you do?_

_What would you do?"_

"I don't have a top bunk! None of us have a top bunk except for you two!" screamed Morton. Lemmy added:

"_With a big fat nose and an "M" cap on his head!"_

Ludwig put a blanket around his neck like a cape.

"_Well, if it was me, now let me see…_

_I would multiply using Planck's constant and pi _

_To determine math-e-mat-ic-al-ly,_

_His macro-quantum state, so I know what formula_

_Will shrink him to the size of a pea – no, a FLEA!"_

Ludwig started to giggle uncontrollably; his trademark "Kooky" laughter.

"_I'd fill him full of dread_

_If Mario came on my bed!"_

Morton said, "It's called a Poison Mushroom! And it works on everyone, regardless of their mackyo-quanta whatever! Here's the way to get rid of him – WITH BLACK METAL!"

Morton turned on some loud KISS music. Ludwig said, "That isn't black metal", but nobody heard him. Morton got out a microphone and started shouting in a metal voice, and Larry and Roy joined in.

"_Ain't no Mario will bring us down_

_Uh-uh, not again,_

_We'll blast his face right out of town_

_Uh-huh, that's right,_

_Mario not gonna bring us down,_

_Uh-uh, we'll tear him down!_

'_Cause we're the meanest Koopas around_

_That's right!"_

Bowser screamed, "Larry, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, Ludwig, GO TO SLEEP!"

Larry screamed, "OK!" and shut the bedroom door. "Sheesh!" He pulled out a toy bazooka and started firing it.

"_I am the Koopinator-tor-tor-tor…"_

Iggy cried:

"_B-but what if Mario decided to stay?"_

Lemmy said,

"_That wouldn't be very nice!_

_Maybe if we ask him to go away…"_

Roy clenched his fists.

"_Are we Koopas, or are we mice?_

_I'd punch him in the gut wit da ol' right hook_

_Then knock him upside the head"_

Wendy frowned at her nails. Mario had broken quite a few of them.

"_I'd give him a lousy manicure!"_

Iggy crawled under the bed.

"_I-I'd hide in my shell under the bed!"_

Morton and Roy pulled Iggy out and screamed, "NO!"

"_We'll make him face his doom…_

_If Mario comes in our room! _

_We'll blow him up-KABOOM!"_

Bowser roared, "I thought I told you children to go to sleep!"

"Fine by me," said Larry. "G'night, all."

"And just you remember," said Roy, "If Mario trespassed onto our property, wit all seven of us and Kind Dad around, he wouldn't stand a chance!"

Larry, Morton, Roy and Wendy all left and went to bed. Aware that the twins were still scared, Ludwig stayed behind.

"Do you guys feel better?"

"Well, um, I'm still scared," said Iggy.

"Me too," said Lemmy.

"But I'm not scared when the loud music is on," said Iggy.

"Yes, that's because loud music scares Mario away," Ludwig white-lied.

"But I think that Bigmouth's music is kind of scary too," said Iggy.

"Well, remember the Mario Mash that I made?"

"Yeah! We like the Mario Mash!"

Ludwig turned on the Mario Mash and gave each of them a pair of earbuds so that Bowser wouldn't have to listen to it.

_I was working in my lab late one night_

_When my eyes beheld a frightful sight!_

_From a pipe behind, a man did rise, _

_And suddenly, to my surprise, _

_He did the Mash_

_He did the Mario Mash_

_Mario Mash_

_Everyone in the castle was smashed!_

_Mario Mash_

_I caught on in a flash_

_I did the Mash_

_And I Mashed him back!_

_From my laboratory in the castle's east_

_To Larry's room, where the Piranha Plants feast_

_The Mario-Mashed Koopas came to my abode_

_For ECT from my electrodes!_

_The Shy Guys and Boos, they were having fun_

_The war against Mario had just begun_

_The guests included Wario_

_Fawful and even the Angry Sun!_

_The scene was violent, all were crazy and mad_

_Chomps on chains, tearing after E. Gadd_

_The Mushroom Crusaders were about to arrive_

_When we were done with the Mashing, none of them were alive!_

_Out from my dungeon, Yoshi's voice did ring_

_Seems he was troubled by just one thing_

_When I shocked him to life, he shook his tongue and his fist _

_And said, "Yoshi?" which means "What happened to the Yoshi Twist?"_

_Now everything's cool, and Mario's nothing but mash_

_And all of us bad guys are having a bash_

_For you, the good guys, this Mash was meant too_

_When you get to my door, tell them Kooky sent you!_

_You can be Mashed_

_By the Mario Mash_

_Mario Mash_

_And be like Mario – smashed!_

_Yeah, you'll be mashed_

_You'll be mashed in a flash_

_You will be mashed_

_Like Mario was mashed!_

_(More Kooky laughter)_

**_Credit goes to my twin sister, who posted the idea on a clip from "Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein" on YouTube._**


End file.
